‘We have to take bullying seriously’: Knowing the signs and action steps

(Letter to the Editor by Hilary Baker, Cumberland River Behavioral Health Child Trauma Therapist and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor)

To the Editor,

Have you ever been bullied? Do you see bullying at your school? Has anyone bullied you online? These are some of the questions I may ask during my work as a Child Victims Therapist.

They are important questions due to the fact that research shows that bullying can severely affect a child or teen’s self-image, social interactions, and school performance.

There is also a strong possibility that it may contribute to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, substance use, and even suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

What may have once been thought of as rite of passage has now, according to the American Psychological Association, become a nationwide children’s mental health crisis.

We have to take bullying seriously.

This is especially true in today’s post-pandemic world in which we have become more dependent upon and spend more time with electronics. Kids are not able to escape their tormentors. It isn’t as simple as leaving school, the bus, or the playground and then finding a respite at home. The bullies follow them into their house via social media.

In my work, I have to be diligent about screening for bullying.   According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, being bullied can lead to traumatic stress reactions such as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, which can have significant and long lasting mental health concerns for children and adolescents.

So what can parents, school administrators, or concerned community members do? First, make sure that we recognize the basics. Children need to have a clear understanding of what bullying actually is. By definition, bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that is repeated over time. Bullying may be verbal (name-calling, taunting, threatening to cause harm), social (spreading rumors, embarrassing someone in public), or physical (hitting, kicking, spitting, tripping, pushing, etc.).

Bullying can happen both in person and online. Cyberbullying takes place using electronic technology, like phones, computers and tablets, or social media sites.   

Second, know the signs that a child may be experiencing bullying. These signs could include changes in behavior such as sudden school anxiety or total school avoidance, poor academic performance, separation anxiety, self-injury, eating disorders, changes in sleep patterns, health complaints like stomach aches or headaches, anger or frustration, or difficulty sleeping. 

Sometimes kids are experiencing bullying without showing any signs, so it is important to continually speak openly and frequently to your children about the subject. The more you talk about bullying, the more comfortable they may feel telling you if they see or experience it. Normalize these conversations in your home and check in with your children daily about their time at school and their activities online. 

Lastly, if a child reports being bullied listen in a non-judgmental way. See if you can work together to develop a solution and contact your school administration or teacher. If the bullying happens online, reduce your child’s exposure to social media. You may also reach out to a mental health professional to assist your child in developing effective coping skills, strengthen resiliency, and appropriately process any bullying they may have experienced.

Hilary Baker

Cumberland River Behavioral Health