Frozen britches and bare bottoms

Well, I think we can officially say fall is over as it is getting close to the middle of November and I know the bitterly cold weather is coming, whether I like it or not. Truthfully, I am not and never have really been too fond of winter, and as I get older, I like it even less. There is just something about naked trees and dull and dreary, short days that goes against everything in me.

Remembering winters in the past, I am reminded of the long, bitterly cold walks out to the highway to catch the school bus when I was young, (and picking the longest mud puddle on the dirt road to “ice skate” on). I remember trying to stay warm in the little school bus shack waiting for the bus, while blowing my misty breath into the icy winter air.

And, I especially remember the hurried walks to the outhouse to take care of business and trying to quickly get it over with! The only good thing about going to the outhouse in the winter back then was, I didn’t have to worry about snakes, spiders and wasps. I just had to endure the bitterly cold air on my bare behind. (I guess I am probably one of the last of the generations to experience a true outhouse, and having experienced that sure makes me appreciate having a nice, warm restroom indoors.)

I also remember, many times, unpinning frozen jeans from off the clothes line in the mornings before school. Sometimes those jeans were so stiff they could literally stand up by themselves, and trying to get them limbered up and on was an experience in and of itself.

Isn’t it funny how we can truly appreciate even the simplest of things when we’ve experienced a difference?

I did say I didn’t care much for winter, but I do have to admit there really isn’t anything as picturesque as a thick snow clinging to the trees, especially when the snow is untouched. The earth seems so clean, pure and peaceful right after a nice thick snow.

Speaking of fall, winter and snow, I have a few jokes that I would like to share with you.
What did one autumn leaf say to another? I’m falling for you.

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How do Eskimos make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.

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What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

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Henry and his wife were listening to the radio one winter morning, and the radio personality says, “We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Henry’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Henry’s wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast, and the radio announcer says “We are expecting a whopping 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park…”, then the electricity goes out. Clearly upset, Henry’s wife says, “Henry, I don’t know what to do.”

Exasperated, Henry says, “Honey, why don’t you just leave it parked in the garage this time.”