Bena Mae’s Kitchen: When you gotta go, you gotta go

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Like a polar bear, my mind goes into hibernation about this time every January. Because, let’s face it, January doesn’t lend itself to creativity. By the grace of God and Mother Nature, we were spared the terrific snowfalls that occurred in the north, east, west, and all around our area last week.  I kept my water running for three days to keep my pipes from freezing.  Still it was as cold as a well-diggers feet. The thermometer said minus 7 degrees.  Brrrr!
When it came time to write my weekly column, no stream of consciousness hit me. My mind was frozen,, “Closed for the Winter” it said.
So I sit here thinking of what to write on a blank screen, thinking of nothing more profound than watching the Golden Globes the other night. (I didn’t want to miss the hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), and then there was Downton Abbey (myself and the whole nation’s gotta keep up with the Crawleys  while they remind us how poor we are) – Television in its infinite wisdom put the two shows opposite each other– thank goodness for the VCR and warmed over beef stew my daughter-in-law sent me for supper.  So life could still go on. 
Still, no stream of consciousness. When voilá, a solution. Repeat an article from out of the past that was written so long ago that readers may have forgotten it, and if not, is still worth a chuckle or two. The story takes place in Utah and comes from a newspaper in New Orleans.
It happened at a ski resort. Conditions were perfect, 12 below zero. One of the women on the ski lift complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief in the form of a powder room when they got to the top of the slope. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.
So, with time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that, since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go into the woods and no one would even notice, that the white suit would be more than adequate camouflage.
So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her pants and proceeded to do her thing. But she had her skis positioned in the wrong way. Without warning the woman started skiing backward, out of control. Her derrière was still bare, her pants down around her knees. She continued going backwards, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers.
The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. The ski patrol transferred her to the emergency room and while there she met a man with a broken leg.
“So how’d you break your leg?” she asked, making small talk.
“It was the darndest thing you ever saw. I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backwards down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift.
So how did you break your arm?”   

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Broccoli Cheddar Quiche
 
This dish is like broccoli cheddar soup in quiche form. Breakfast has never been better!

Ingredients

2 tbsp butter
1/2 onion, minced
1 tsp garlic, minced or crushed
2 cups fresh broccoli, chopped
1 frozen pie crust
8 eggs
1/4 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded
1/2 cup milk

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add onions, garlic, and broccoli. Stir occasionally until veggies are softened. Spoon broccoli mixture into frozen pie crust and top with cheese.
In a medium bowl, combine eggs and milk. Beat until well combined. And salt and pepper. Pour egg mixture over broccoli and cheese mixture.
Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until set.
Enjoy!