Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Snoring. No laughing matter. Well, sometimes.

 Snoring is a universal problem. And it is common with men as well as women, only more so with men. This is true, the experts say, because men’s necks are bigger than women’s. Whatever the reason, it is a health problem and a nuisance to a sleeping partner who many times has to retreat to another bedroom in order to get some sleep. A case in point:

A 60-year-old grandmother in England is said to snore louder than a low flying jet, much to the dismay of her long suffering 62-year-old husband. She could drown out the sounds of a washing machine, a diesel truck, farm tractor or a speeding train. She regularly wakes herself up and her husband has had to sleep in the spare room at least five nights a week for the eighteen years they have been married.

Recently, she took part in a two-day snoring “boot camp”. She was the loudest of the six chronic snorers, four men and two women who took part in the clinic designed to promote natural remedies to their problem. The experts said her snoring was the loudest they had ever experienced and offered advice to help her problem.

“They recommended tips for healthy living but I won’t be giving up alcohol totally just yet,” she said.

On a lighter note:

Four retired deputy sheriffs, Daryl, Earl, Cecil and Bubba, went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They all decided it wasn’t fair if just one of them had to room with him the whole time, so they compromised and voted to take turns. A different deputy would bunk with Daryl each of the three nights they were scheduled at the retreat.

The first deputy assigned to sleep with Daryl was Earl. Earl came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. The other deputies said, “Earl, you look terrible! what happened?”

Earl replied, “Daryl snored like a freight train. There was absolutely no way I could sleep. I just sat up in bed and watched him all night.”

The next night it was Cecil’s turn. In the morning it was the same thing. Cecil looked a fright. His hair standing up and his eyes all blood-shot. They knew Cecil had gone sleepless, but had to ask anyway: “Cecil! Was it that bad? You look awful!”

Cecil said, “You’d look awful, too, if you had to try to sleep in the same room as a 747!  I had no idea anyone could snore so loud!   I just sat and played solitaire all night and watched him snore.”

The third night it was Bubba’s turn. Bubba was a big burly ex-football player; a real man’s man. The next morning Bubba came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy-tailed. “Morning, fellahs,” he said. “Looks like a beautiful day.” The other two deputies just sat there dumbfounded.

A few minutes later Daryl came down to breakfast. He was bleary eyed, his hair was a mess and he looked a fright. Earl and Cecil puzzled over this and finally had to ask: “Daryl, didn’t you get any sleep last night?”

“Hell, no!” Daryl shot back. Just as I climbed into bed, Bubba came over and tucked me in and gave me a big good night kiss. Man, I just sat there wide awake all night and watched HIM sleep like a baby!”

Brilliant!

Great tasting banana bars that are moist and sweet. Frost with cream cheese icing and enjoy!

Frosted Banana Bars

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 cups white sugar

2 eggs

1 cup sour cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup mashed ripe bananas

1 (16 ounce) container cream cheese frosting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 10×15 inch jellyroll pan.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the sour cream and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; stir into the batter. Finally, mix in the mashed banana. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Allow bars to cool completely before frosting with the cream cheese frosting.