Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Memory Loss

 I’m so mad at myself. As soon  as I got up this morning, I thought I could hear water running. I checked and found I had left the garden hose running all night. When I looked out the window, my driveway looked like the Johnstown Flood. The water was deep enough to surf on. And needless to say, a brand new hose…busted.

Darn! I said, only I didn’t say darn, as I ran outside in my pajamas to turn the hose off. I had left it running the night before after I had watered my flowers. Must have been in a hurry to get through in time to watch Judge Judy, I thought, who was just as caustic as ever. I think they give her a bonus every time she gets a ten on the nasty scale. No wonder she’s so rich.

Have you ever gone to the store for one specific item (let’s say oregano) and got back home with everything but the oregano that you had specifically gone for? You needed it for a recipe you were fixing which plainly said “no substitutes.” It’ a common occurrence, folks, and it happens to everybody.  Just human nature, so don’t feel bad when you do it.  

One of my favorite memory jokes is funny but harmless, because I believe that laughing about it makes it easier to swallow:

A man was invited for dinner at a friend’s house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her “My Love”, “Darling”, “Sweetheart”, etc. His friend looked at him and said, “That’s really nice after all of these years you’ve been married to keep saying those little pet names.” 

The host said, “Well, honestly, I’ve forgotten her name.”

Could that be why so many southern ladies call everybody “Honey,” or “Darlin’” or “Sugah”?  Lazy memory?

But the ultimate in memory loss is when you start to introduce one of your friends to another friend and forget one of the friends’ names. There’s no reprieve from this, my friend. Just suck it up and hope you’ll never see either one of them again for as long as you live.

They say that working crossword puzzles is a good way to keep the memory sharp.  I’m not sure about that. I’m a crossword addict, especially the New York Times crosswords that are extremely hard. I usually stay with them until I’ve worked them completely,  no matter how long it takes. I think I like the challenge.

Still, it doesn’t help when I’ve forgotten where I put my car keys, coffee, book, TV remote, checkbook, postage stamps, fingernail file, magazine, my cell phone….. my mind.

Splendid for summer days when you don’t want to turn on the oven, this luscious lemon pie whips up in minutes from simple pantry staples and is sure to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Easy Lemon Pie

1 (4.3 ounce) package non-instant lemon pudding mix

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese

1/2 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

3 tablespoons lemon juice

1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust

1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed

Cook pudding as directed on package. After pudding thickens, turn down heat to low. Stir in cream cheese, condensed milk and lemon juice. Stir frequently as mixture may stick to saucepan.

Pour mixture into graham cracker crust. Cover and refrigerate. When pie is ready, serve with whipped topping.

Serves 8.