Bena Mae’s Kitchen: From here to Timbuktoo

Pardon my French, but it’s a pain in the hiney to try to discuss a billing problem over the phone these days.
Time was if you had a problem with a charge on your bill that raised a question, you could walk downtown, speak to the owner or manager of the store, and straighten it out. No sweat.
But times have changed friends and neighbors. Boy, have they changed!  
One afternoon I spent four hours on the phone trying to discuss a billing mistake with a large department store. I should have packed a lunch because I later found it was going to take awhile. After I listened to the usual menu and punched a bunch of numbers, the person I got hold of said, “I’m sorry but this department doesn’t handle this kind of problem. I’ll-have-to-transfer-you.” Warning to reader: These are the most frustrating words you’ll ever hear.
After a couple more transfers followed by more menus and numbers, I was put on hold for an undetermined length of time.  So I pressed the speaker phone button so I could hear when someone came on the line and started watching Dr. Phil on TV. Finally I heard a voice that said, “We’ll have to transfer you to another office that handles errors like this.”  
So began a journey that took me from Tampa, Fla. to somewhere in Colorado. After repeating my reason for calling for the fifth time, the representative in Colorado put me on hold because all the lines were busy. After another spell of waiting (by this time Oprah had come on the air) I heard a voice saying “May I help you?”
Again I repeated my dilemma, and, you guessed it, I was transferred to another department. So began another long wait. At long last I got a recording that said “We’re sorry, but this office is closed. Our hours are from 8 to 5 Monday through Friday. Please call again!” Arrrgh!
The yell I let out must have broken the sound barrier.
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I am reminded of a friend who tried to report a problem with her phone. After getting the usual runaround she was finally connected to a number where the tech person who answered spoke with a foreign accent. Puzzled, my friend asked where her office was located. Would you believe somewhere in India?

A moist cake, reminiscent of the tropical drink for which it is named.

Pina Colada Cake

1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 (3.5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
1 (14 ounce) can cream of coconut
1/2 cup rum
1/3 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
2 tablespoons rum

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F ( 175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 10 inch fluted or tube pan.
In large mixing bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, 1/2 cup coconut creme, 1/2 cup rum, oil, and eggs. Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in pineapple. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake for 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 10 minutes. Remove from pan. With a table knife or skewer, poke holes about 1 inch apart in cake almost to bottom.
Combine remaining coconut creme and 2 tablespoons of rum. Slowly spoon over the cake. Chill thoroughly. Store in refrigerator.