Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Customer Service is Dead

No doubt you’ve been on the receiving end of lousy customer service a time or two. You’ve come to a company with questions only to be told by some sterile voice to press this or click that until you arrive full circle to your starting place with no help at all. Or, worse, you’ve reached some bored (Customer Service Representative) who calls you by name but delivers only the infamous phrase, “I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do.”
If this applies to an experience you’ve had, you’re not alone. Put yourself in the place of this young man who is trying to close out the account of his aunt who had died in January and the bank was still charging her with late fees and interest through March. The balance had been zero when she died. Here is how it went when the nephew tried to close the account:
Nephew: I am calling to tell you my aunt died in January.
Bank: The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.
Nephew: Maybe you should turn it over to the collection agency.
Bank: Since it is two months past due, it already has.
Nephew: Well. What will they do when they find out she’s already dead?
Bank: Either report her account to the fraud’s division or report her to the credit bureau.
Nephew: Do you think God will be mad at her?
Bank: Excuse me…..?
Nephew: Did you get the part I’ve been trying to tell you.. the part about her being dead?
Bank: Sir, you’ll just have to speak to my supervisor! (Supervisor gets on the phone.)
Nephew: I’m trying to tell you my aunt died in January.
Bank: The account was never closed and the charges and late fees still apply. Could you fax us a certificate of her death?
Nephew: Sure. (Fax number is sent.)
Bank: I don’t know what more I can do to help you. The late charges and fees will still apply.
Nephew: Well, if you figure it out, great. If not, you could just keep on billing her. I don’t think she’d really care. Would you like her new billing address?
Bank: That might help.
Nephew: Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Hwy 129, Plot 229.
Bank: Sir, that’s a cemetery!
Nephew: Well, what do you do with dead people on your planet?
Love it!

Caramelized Banana Pudding

1/4 cup butter
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 large ripe bananas, sliced   
1 cup granulated sugar, divided   
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 large eggs
2 cups milk   
 4 large eggs, separated
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
48 vanilla wafers   

Cook first 3 ingredients in a large skillet over medium heat, stirring constantly, 2 to 3 minutes or until bubbly. Add bananas; cook 2 to 3 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Remove from heat.
Whisk together 3/4 cup granulated sugar, next 3 ingredients, and 4 egg yolks in a heavy saucepan. Cook over medium-low heat, whisking constantly, 8 to 10 minutes or until a pudding-like thickness. (Mixture will just begin to bubble and will hold soft peaks when whisk is lifted.) Remove from heat, and stir in vanilla.
Divide half of banana mixture, pudding, and wafers among 8 (1-cup) ramekins or ovenproof glass dishes. Layer with remaining banana mixture, pudding, and vanilla wafers.
Beat 4 egg whites at high speed with an electric mixer until foamy. Add remaining 1/4 cup granulated sugar, 1 Tbsp. at a time, beating until stiff peaks form and sugar dissolves (2 to 4 minutes). Spread meringue over ramekins. Place ramekins on a baking sheet.
Bake at 325° for 15 to 20 minutes or until meringue is golden. Let cool on a wire rack 30 minutes.
Note: For the best flavor, choose firm, ripe bananas with brown speckles.