Bena Mae Seivers: The pros and cons of growing old

The pros and cons of
growing old

In Nora Ephron’s best-selling book, I Feel Bad About My Neck, she laments the sorry state of her 60-something neck: “Our faces are lies and our necks are the truth. You have to cut open a redwood tree to see how old it is, but you wouldn’t have to if it had a neck,” she writes.
Every time I look at a photograph of myself, I see the turkey wattle on my neck beneath my chin. It used to bother me but after suffering the ravages of age, it becomes more and more trivial. I am repelled when I watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with all their Botox and plastic surgery and think, don’t get too close to the sun or you’ll melt. I hate their attempts at trying to stay young at any cost but I watch it anyway. It’s like watching a train wreck, It’s horrible but you can’t take your eyes away. The women are narcissistic and self-centered and most of them have the I.Q. of a head of broccoli. I HATE THE SHOW. Still, I watch it but not before I take an anger-management pill.
Nora goes on to write, “Every so often I read a book about age, and whoever’s writing it says it’s great to be old. It’s great to be wise and sage and mellow; it’s great to be at the point where you understand just what matters in life.
This is a lot of crap. What matters most to me to me is having the strength to do menial housework without tiring out so often. And to cook a meal without having to sit down to peel a potato. I’m not thinking about anti-wrinkle cream when I’m scrubbing the toilet bowl. And If I were any more mellow, I’d be like an over-ripe cantaloupe. As for being wise and sage, tell me this when I season my green beans with Joy Dishwashing Detergent instead of Mazola Oil. or leave my keys in the fridge.
The TV commercials are flooded with ways to look younger. Don’t they know that looking younger is not as important as FEELING younger? Ask any senior citizen. And Nora, it is not “great to be old.” It is what nature imposed upon us and we accept it, but not with open arms.
As I’ve often said, age creeps upon you subtly one day at a time. One day you’re young and spry and dancing in a field of daisies. And before you know it, you are anticipating sleeping beneath the daisies.
We have a rest home here in town that sits directly across the street from a cemetery. Bad planning. Imagine lying in bed and looking at your future home.
But aging has its lighter side. I now have earned the right to tell someone off if they rattle my cage–especially service people who try to take advantage of my doddering years. My brain is still working and my tongue has not lost its ability to be razor sharp. What are they going to do? Hit an 87-year old?
Also, if I ever find myself taken hostage in a hostage situation, I will be the first one they release.

Indoor S’mores’ Desert Casserole

Ingredients
2 tubes refrigerated crescent rolls
16 oz. Philadelphia Cream Cheese; softened
1 cup sugar; divided
7 oz. Marshmallow Creme
1 pack (8-9 sheets) graham crackers
1/2 cup butter divided and melted
2 cups milk chocolate morsels
2 cups mini marshmallows
 
Instructions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Unroll one tube of crescent rolls on the bottom of a 9x13in. pan.
Cream the cream cheese and 3/4 cups sugar together. Add the marshmallow creme and mix until combined. Pour cream cheese/marshmallow mixture on top of crescent roll dough. Spread evenly.
Crush graham crackers in a zip lock bag till fine crumbs. Add 2 tbsp sugar and 3 tbsp melted butter. Shake till coated. Layer graham cracker mixture on top.
Sprinkle chocolate chips evenly over graham cracker crumbs, then sprinkle mini marshmallows over that.
Unroll the other tube of crescent rolls on top. Brush remaining melted butter over dough and sprinkle with remaining sugar.
Bake for 13 minutes or until golden brown and flaky. Enjoy!!