Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Pity the poor 911 dispatcher

The work of 911 dispatchers can be very hectic at times, especially when several calls come in at the same time. It can be particularly stressful when the caller is too excited to provide needed information and sometimes callers can even become abusive. Yet, the dispatcher is supposed to make a judgement call in merely seconds in a life or death situation.

They sit for long periods of time and as a result of working long stretches, they can experience significant eyestrain and back discomfort. Still, they must remain calm and objective and in control of the situation.

There are times, however, when a call comes in that gives them a humorous outlook on some of the callers and the answers they give. This one is a gem:

Dispatcher: What is your emergency?

Caller: Uh, my wife just got mauled by a warthog and she’s hurt pretty bad. I need an ambulance real quick.

Dispatcher: Okay, what is your address?

Caller: 2835 Eucalyptus Street.

Dispatcher: Could you spell that for me, please?

Caller: long pause….. then, uh, I’m going to drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there.

The following caller must have taxed the frustration level of the dispatcher to the limit:

Dispatcher: 911. What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine-eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am, nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing .

Caller: Honey, I may be old but I’m not that stupid.

And this one makes one wonder how some people got this far without being certifiably institutionalized.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1. What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it.

Ah, human nature. This proves the old adage that “truth is stranger than fiction.”

Serve this pretty green salad in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.

Pineapple-Lime Salad

1 (3 ounce) package lime gelatin

1 cup boiling water

1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese,

softened

1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple,

undrained

1 cup whipping cream, whipped

1/4 cup chopped pecans

In a large bowl, dissolve gelatin in boiling water; chill until syrupy. In a small bowl, combine cream cheese and pineapple; stir into cooled gelatin. Fold in whipped cream, and pecans. Pour into a 4-cup mold coated with nonstick cooking spray. Refrigerate for 3 hours or overnight.