Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Doctor’s Communication Skills

”You can be a medical genius or know all about ventilators, drugs, do-not-resuscitate orders and surgical procedures, but it’s more important to know how to communicate with patients and their families.”

The ongoing saga of my experience with medical doctors continues:

When we left off a couple of months or so ago, I was in a dither about being left with an unexplained reason for being referred to a vascular/kidney specialist. Long story short, it was finally revealed that the reason for my dangerously high blood pressure was a blockage to both my kidneys. Both have been taken care of and now my condition is much improved.

But the road to getting from there to here is a story within itself.

When I went for my first appointment, my daughter-in-law in tow, (she goes with me because she insists on getting accurate information while I just sit there and nod uh huh) we found that we were entering uncharted waters.

The doctor’s waiting room was a portent of things to come…dark paneled walls, lamps with forty-watt bulbs, dark leather furniture, stacks of Bass Fishing magazines lying around which no one could read because it was so dark. A Vincent Price horror movie came to mind. Beyond those walls it was even worse.

After going through the preliminaries of reading my blood pressure and getting the necessary data that was involved, the nurse who was wearing 3-inch heels (whoever heard of a nurse wearing three-inch heels) left the room. In just a matter of minutes, the doctor, who I swear was the spitting image of Drew Peterson (the Illinois ex-cop who is accused of killing his second and third wives) entered the room. Bad start. From the very beginning, it was plain that on the day they taught social graces when he was in training, he clearly had been absent. He was arrogant, brusque, and very condescending. At that moment my blood pressure, which was already high, went through the ceiling. My daughter-in-law suggested it might be “white coat syndrome.” Actually it was “I-don’t-like-this-doctor-and-I wish-he-would-just-go-away” syndrome.

After explaining the details of my condition and the procedure involved for correcting it, he asked if I had any questions. Well duh. This was new territory for me so, yes, I had lots of questions. I might as well have saved my breath. With each question I asked, I was met with, “I don’t know the answer for that” or, ” I can’t tell you that.” From the tone of his voice, he sounded as if it were either none of my business, or I was not capable of understanding the English language. By this time I had formed an even stronger dislike of this doctor. Thankfully, the procedure was going to be done by another team of surgeons.

The next day, the atmosphere that awaited me in the operating room, was vastly different. The O.R. people were cheerful, attentive, and caring. When they said, “This will sting a little,” I didn’t feel a thing. I was given a local anesthetic and was awake throughout the entire operation, although they gave me a happy pill to take the edge off. Once, when they asked me how I was doing, I said “I want a sausage biscuit from Hardee’s.” It had been fourteen hours since I had eaten and little did they know that if their hand got too close to my face, they were in danger of losing it. I was that hungry.

The next morning, Dr. Who-Looks-Like-Drew Peterson came by my hospital room to sign my release. His words to me were “We saved your two kidneys. I’m calling in a prescription for you.” That was the full context of his conversation, no “any questions?”, no follow up, no explanation of what to expect, no words about what to avoid, no prognosis for the future…nothing. When he offered me his hand. I shook it gladly and told him goodbye. I was more than glad to see the back of him.

Note: This is not an indictment of all doctors. Thankfully the majority of them are

very kind and caring. I know, because I am fortunate enough to be under the care of two of the best.

Hey, it’s soup again, but with the weather so cold, what could be more satisfying.

Panera’s Cream Cheese Potato Soup

4 cups chicken broth

4 cups potatoes, peeled and cubed

1/4 cup onion, minced

1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt

1/4 teaspoon white pepper

1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, cut into chunks

Combine broth, potatoes, onion, and spices.

Boil on medium heat until potatoes are tender.

Smash a few of the potatoes to release their starch for thickening.

Reduce to low heat.

Add cream cheese.

Heat, stirring frequently, until cheese melts.