Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Driving Miss Bena

One of the hardest things I ever had to do was give up my car keys. But it was time.  Common sense and my doctor’s advice was the impetus for making the decision.  Oh, I argued and dug in my heels trying to hold onto one of the last vestiges of freedom I had, but I finally had to give in. “Can’t I just make short trips, to the drug store, the grocery store?” I  pleaded. The doctor  said I could  have a fender-bender only a short distance from home that might result in an injury to myself or another driver.
Thinking about the many medications I take, I could just picture the glaring headlines “86 YEAR-OLD WOMAN ARRESTED FOR DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE!” That settled it. It was a life-changing event, or maybe a life-saving event, who’s to say.
I had been driving for fifty-plus years. I never had a ticket or an accident in all those years but my son, trying to be funny, said that didn’t include the accidents I may have caused. (Grown men should have more respect for their mothers.) But I came close to committing homicide, or filing for divorce. I’m just saying…
Here’s how it happened. We had just bought a 1956 Chevy, a popular car during that era.   It had a manual gear shift — the enemy of every new driver — and it was up to my husband to teach me to drive, which was a disaster from the start. That’s when husbands assert their superiority over their wives and practice their shouting voices.
Each evening after supper we would drive out to a track that was hardly ever used to begin the lesson. The only thing I knew about a car was where to insert the key. When I got into the driver’s seat, I was told to slowly let out the clutch with one foot and hold the brake with the other. I did as I was told and all I could hear was stripping of the gears and my husband yelling. The more he yelled, the madder I got. I just couldn’t manage the clutch and the brake at the same time and the car did nothing but chug for a couple of feet, then stop.
This went on for several nights, him yelling at me and my yelling back at him. By the time we returned home each evening, we weren’t speaking to each other. Finally, out of desperation, I enrolled in a drivers’ training course and got my driver’s license on the first go-round. This saved my marriage and my husband’s life. And every woman who was taught to drive by her husband knows exactly what I mean. In talking to other women, I found that mine was not an isolated incidence, they had had the same experience. Which brings me to this conclusion:
Every day we read about the high rate of divorce in the U.S. Different reasons are given for this radical rise, but my own opinion is this: Most of them begin with the husband teaching his wife how to drive. For some reason, this turns them into impatient monsters who make the wife seem like an incompetent nincompoop. Is this their only way of establishing superiority? If they really want to feel superior, let them pick up a dish towel, scrub the toilet, shop for groceries. 
But I’m beginning to ramble. The point I want to make is this: Driving is a special privilege and I miss it. I find that I panic when I’m out of bread, coffee, or a prescription at the drug store. No longer can I make a short trip for something that seems insignificant, but major when you have to do without it. It leaves me without the independence I had always valued as the most important thing in my life.
 But thankfully, I have family and friends who will drive Miss Bena anywhere she needs to go. 

Strawberry Cream Pie

1 (4-serving size) package vanilla instant pudding and pie filling
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons grated orange or lemon rind
2 cups frozen whipped topping, thawed (plus extra for garnish, if desired) (1 8-ounce container equals 3-1/2 cups)
1 prepared 9-inch graham cracker pie crust
1 pint fresh strawberries, hulled, rinsed, and patted dry, plus extra for garnish

In a large bowl, combine vanilla pudding mix, sour cream, milk, and orange rind. Add whipped topping and beat with a wire whisk 1 minute, or until well blended. Spoon half the mixture into pie crust.
Press strawberries, stem-side down, into mixture, then top with remaining mixture.
 Freeze the pie about 1 hour or refrigerate 3 hours before serving. Garnish with additional whipped topping or strawberries.