Local woman donates a kidney to stranger in order to help a friend get a new kidney

Most people would be willing to donate a kidney for a spouse, sibling or child. Many people would be willing to donate a kidney to save the life of their best friend or even a good friend.

Monica Mefford, left, recently got a new kidney after she was moved up to priority status on the transplant list because Kari Doctor, right, donated a kidney to someone else.

But what about donating a kidney to someone, who you only really know socially or through Facebook? What about donating a kidney to someone, who you don’t know that lives all the way around the country, so that the person you know only socially, can get moved up to priority status on the donor list? What if your donating a kidney might not even help them get a transplant sooner because they need a rare match?

Would you do it?

If you are local resident Kari Doctor wanting to help Monica Mefford, then the answer to that question is resounding yes.

“Our main purpose in this life is to witness to others the love of God. This was my way for showing compassion and love and following through on something that I felt only God could have led me to do,” Doctor said.

“I will forever be a different person than who I was three months ago. I think sometimes we take our good health for granted and forget how lucky we are to a live a life free of machines, needles and daily medical drama.”

Doctor was the keynote speaker last Wednesday during a flag raising ceremony that was part of a National Donate Life event at Baptist Health Corbin where Mefford has worked for 17 years as an inpatient, psychiatric therapist.

Both women held the new flag, which is now flying outside the hospital.

Needing a kidney

When she was 11 years old, Mefford was first told that she would probably need a kidney transplant at some point in her life. When she was 27 years old, she received a living donor transplant, which lasted about 10 years before her body rejected it.

She got post-transplant lymphoma, which she got treated for. Then she went on the organ donor list, and was on dialysis for five years.

Doctor and Mefford first met eight years ago when Doctor was waiting tables at a local restaurant where Mefford and her husband were regular customers.

“She and her husband were always so kind and personable. She would sometimes compliment me when I had on a cute outfit,” Doctor said. “She was magnetic. Even though we never became friends sort to speak, we kept in touch through Facebook posts and seeing each other at the coffee shop from time to time.”

About 18 months ago, Doctor was 70 pounds overweight, and her overall health wasn’t the best. She made the decision to start losing weight, eat healthier and to start exercising.

Six months later, she had lost the 70 pounds. All of her labs were normal and several health issues had resolved.

One month later, Doctor was scrolling Facebook when she saw that Mefford needed a kidney transplant and was searching for a match.

“The timing made it seem like everything had led me to this point. I started testing a couple of weeks later. After a few months of blood work, scans, and you name it, I was a perfect candidate to donate my kidney, but unfortunately I wasn’t a match for Monica. As you can imagine, I felt defeated and to be honest heart broken,” Doctor recalled.

Even though she wasn’t a match for Mefford, Doctor learned she could still help her probably get a kidney sooner.

As it turned out, Doctor was a match for somebody else, who needed a kidney transplant.

“I was offered the opportunity to become a paired donor. I would donate my kidney to someone else, and Monica would be moved to priority status as soon as my surgery was complete,” Doctor said. “For those that are not aware, the typical wait time for a transplant is five years, with a paired donor it is usually around 18 months.”

When Mefford learned that Doctor was willing to do the paired transplant in order to move her up on the donor list, she actually unsuccessfully tried to talk her out of it.

“I was told that I would be a very difficult match. I wanted her to be informed and her to know that if she gave her kidney to somebody else, it might not play a role in me getting one. I wanted to be realistic, but she was confident. She was 100 percent adamant about it,” Mefford said.

“I thought it was very selfless. When you are in this position, it is humbling to have to ask somebody for an organ to live. I am always shocked that there are people in this world, who would selflessly give a kidney. I had two wonderful donors. My first donor, her name was Brandy and if I hadn’t had that donation, I wouldn’t have those 10 years. I have had to really depend on the kindness of people.”

Transplant time

On Feb. 6, Doctor’s kidney was transported to California to help a 21-year-old man, who had been waiting years for a match. Like Mefford, he was also a difficult match.

“You can imagine how happy I was that, together, Monica and I made that happen for him,” Doctor said.

Last Friday, Corbin Mayor Suzie Razmus signed a proclamation declaring National Donate Life Month in the City of Corbin.

A few days later, Doctor received an update that the transplant had been a success and he was doing great.

Mefford said that three weeks after Doctor’s surgery, she was sitting at home with her husband when she asked him to get up and go get her phone from the other room because she was tired. He said that he was tired too.

“I said, “If one of us doesn’t get my phone, what if I get a call for a kidney? We will feel guilty.’ He said, ‘If you don’t answer, they will call me. You never answer your phone.’ That very moment his phone rings and it is UK. They say, ‘We have a kidney for you.’ We were in complete shock. We thought we were dreaming,” Mefford recalled.

They immediately went to UK, and the next day, Mefford received a new kidney from a 41-year-old man somewhere in Kentucky. This is all she knows about her donor.

“The doctor told me that he was an incredibly close match for me considering I was a difficult match. I was super blessed to get something like that. It was kind of destiny. I felt like it was divine intervention,” Mefford said.

Doctor recalled getting the call from Mefford about the matching kidney.

“I didn’t see the message until 2:30 a.m. so I really thought I was dreaming. It was honestly one of the best moments of my life,” Doctor added. “Monica is here today with her new kidney and she is thriving. Even though she was always positive and kept her complaints to a bare minimum, I knew she was just surviving some days. My dad was on dialysis for two years, and it is really, really hard mentally and physically.”

Doctor said she would encourage those blessed with good health to consider becoming a living donor, in addition to registering as a donor for when they pass away.

Right now there are over 105,000 Americans, including 1,000 Kentuckians, who are clinging to hope as they await life-saving organ transplants.

For more information about organ donation, visit donatelife.net.

Last Friday, Corbin Mayor Suzie Razmus signed a proclamation declaring National Donate Life Month in the City of Corbin.