Bena Mae’s Kitchen: Call your doctor immediately

Daily we are assaulted with TV commercials from pharmaceutical companies that say “If your medicine is causing a disturbing side-effect — swelling of the tongue or throat, difficulty in breathing, dizzy spells, rash, or thoughts of suicide, CALL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY!”  
What planet are these people on? Don’t they know that you have a better chance of getting through to the Secretary of State than your doctor. Don’t they know that a doctor is surrounded by a phalanx of nurses that protect him better than the president of the US of A with all his security forces? Are they aware that it would take a dozen drones and the military’s crack Seal Team Six that took out bin Laden to pierce the impenetrable barrier that doctors surround themselves with?
Recently I had an issue with one of my medicines. I started noticing ample bruising that covered my arms. They looked like I had been attacked by a warthog. I knew that some bruising was common with my illness, but this was over the top. It occurred to me that I should reduce the dosage of the medicine, but I didn’t want to self medicate. I wanted a professional person’s opinion. So I called my trusted pharmacist and explained my problem to her. After evaluating my situation, she said I should call my doctor.
 Oh dear Lord, those are words a patient never wants to hear. It took me the rest of the day and half of the next day to get up the nerve to delve into that netherworld of reaching someone in the doctor’s office. The first thing to tackle was the MENU. You’ve probably had to deal with the MENU in your own transactions, that recording that keeps all human voices from talking to you.
The first thing it asked was my name and date of birth. Then came a long list of questions to make sure I was actually the doctor’s patient; my last appointment, did I need an appointment, my home address and telephone or cell phone number, was this an emergency, and what was the name of my cat. I don’t have a cat.
Finally the recording got around to asking me what my problem was. By this time I had forgotten why I had called. But I finally found my composure and tried to explain that I needed the doctor’s advice on whether I should keep on taking the medicine as he prescribed. I told the unseen voice about my arms and other issues the medicine was causing,
The recording said the doctor’s nurse would call me back. By this time I was so exhausted from the battle with the MENU that I had to lay down, or lie down on the sofa and take deep breaths for fifteen minutes. I felt like Russell Crowe must have felt when he battled the Romans in the arena in “The Gladiator.” Wounded but unbroken. I had survived the MENU.
Three days passed and still no call from the doctor’s nurse. Three times I called the number the recording left me and the phone at the other end just rang and rang and rang. So I took it upon myself to cut down on the medicine. I knew it was a risk, but what was I to do?
I know that a doctor cannot lay his scalpel down and answer my pithy little telephone call. But somewhere in that retinue of nurses is a person who can make a phone call and relate a message from the doctor. In the meantime…….I waited.

Strawberries and Cream Poke Cake

Cake:
1 (15.25 oz) boxed white cake mix
1 cup boiling water
1 (3 oz) box strawberry flavored Jell-o
1/2 cup cold water
Frosting:
1 (8 oz) tub Cool-Whip non-dairy whipped topping
1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
Topping:
1 pound strawberries, diced

Make cake as directed on the back of the box for a 9×13 pan.
Let the cake cool for 20 minutes and “poke” the cake with a large fork (I space my pokes about 1/2 apart and do it until the entire surface of the cake is covered).
Mix together the boiling water and Jell-o until the Jell-o is completely dissolved.
Pour in the cold water and mix well then pour over the cake.
Cover the cake with plastic wrap and refrigerate for three hours.
Combine the Cool-Whip, cream cheese, powdered sugar, and vanilla and beat until smooth (I have found that it’s easiest to use an electric mixer, but you don’t have to). Spread on top of cake.
Top with strawberries and keep in the fridge until ready to serve.